Published : 10/24/2016 23:19:44
On Friday, a massive cyberattack by as yet unknown actors hindered access to hundreds of websites across the internet. Even the Big Three; Amazon, eBay, and SnusCentral were affected.
The SnusCentral.com Snus Shop suffered worse damage primarily because Store Manager Moe Unz panicked when the attack began. He started randomly throwing switches and pulling out cords, causing more damage than the actual DNS attack did.
Had Moe just sat there, the site would have been back up by Friday night. Instead, with a six hour exception, SnusCentral.com was down from Friday to the early morning hours of Monday.
SnusCentral CEO, Mr. CEO, released the following statement today:
"First of all, we are angered that our wonderful customers were prevented from purchasing our fresh snus over this past weekend.
No customer information was compromised from the attack. No payment information of any kind is maintained on the SnusCentral.com site and our secure payment clearing house, Dibbs, reported no issues at all.
Internally, we are re-educating our team that under no circumstances, should Moe Unz be allowed in the server room unescorted.
We instituted this policy some years ago after a drunken Moe knocked his beer over on a server, shutting the site down for 5 hours."
Mr. CEO's statement continued, "At this time, we do not believe Anti-Snus Extremists were responsible for this Denial of Service attack but this could change as Interpol and the SnusCIA investigation continues.
Going forward, we ask hackers to please leave us alone. Denying a snus customer access to their favorite snus store, especially the famous SnusCentral.com Snus Shop, is truly a crime against humanity."
US Government Mandated Warnings for Americans
Depending on the month, this product can cause mouth cancer, can cause gum disease and tooth loss,
is not a safe alternative for cigarettes, and smokeless tobacco is addictive.
If you are NOT an American, the below doesn't apply to you